The summer I was 16 was pretty wild and fun. I had gotten my license and I was free!
I had been handed down the family car, a beautiful banana yellow 1984 Subaru hatch back stick. It was awesome.
I had also made a friend in school, Brie. We had bonded over paint brushes and charcoal drawings in art class.
Brie and I started hanging out in the next town over.... We found that no girls from our town hung out there and no girls from that town had our, well they didn't have class... so we were a hot commodity!
There was a group of six of us girls.. myself, Brie, Erica, Kate, and a couple others... who liked to spend our time in Wareboro but Brie and I spent a majority of our time there.
It was a summer of fun, girls being girls. Nothing serious. Just fun. Until I met Brandon.
Brandon was so different from all these guys we were hanging out with.
He was the quiet one. He was the one always sitting in the corner brooding over some tourtured thought.
He was very handsom.
And he was strong. I started hanging out on his side of the couch, then he started getting me beers, then we started looking for each other when we entered the room, and then we became an item...
He made me feel good about who I was.
He seemed to truly like me for who I was and I didn't have to pretend to be anyone else.
It was nice. It didn't start right away, it was a very slow start. Just the two of us feeling each other out.
The girls in Wareboro did not like us hanging out with their men so they made it very difficult for us. They would get loud with us when we came around, they'd throw themselves all over the guys, they would call us names... It wasn't fun for anyone. We had to avoid being in the same part of town let alone the same house or party.
They had all grown up together so the girls gave all the guys an ultimatum, us or them. Too bad these boys wanted it all so theyw told them what they wanted to hear and us what we wanted to hear. We were being played. Each and every one of us.
Brandon started becoming less available. He started pulling away. It was so confusing. But then after days of nothing he would call and inwould jump. He always had excuses. I always took his apology.
One night Brandon wanted to go swimming so we headed to this secret location with Brie and another boy.
It was amazing.
It was an old abandoned beach club on a lake.
It was very romantic.
Brandon stripped down to his underwear and jumped in.
Brie stayed in the car with her boy.
I stripped down to my bra and panties and coyishly entered the lake.
Brandon came and picked me up then kissed me. The way he looked at me, that was the first time I've ever seen "the look." Then he threw me in the water and we just played splashing each other and jumping on each other, stopping only to make out.
Then we went to the beach where Brandon broke out some beers and a blanket. We had a couple beers and started fooling around again.
He attempted to take my clothes off (the little I was still wearing)but I wouldn't let him. This went on for about 10 minutes until I finally told him I just wasn't ready to have sex.
What is with guys and sex!?
He got up and angrily stormed off, got his friend, and left Brie and I at the beach. Alone. Luckily I had driven my car.
Over the next few days he wouldn't return my phone calls and just completely avoided me. I didn't understand why sex was such a big freaking deal! Did I really lose ANOTHER guy because of this!? Were all girls having sex and was I really a God Damn prude!?
A couple of weeks later Brie and I were in Providence to see the X-Games. We met these two boys who were on the tour.
I don't even remember their names.
They were only in town for the weekend but wanted to party with us. They had a bottle of tequila and we had a car. We went down to Horseback Beach and started drinking. Brie took off with one of the boys I stayed on the sand with the other. He grabbed a blanket and started kissing me. Pushing my pants down.
After all I had gone through with these other boys, I just wanted it over and done with. So on that night with sand up my ass and tequila in my bloodstream, I lost everything to a boy whose name I can't even remember.
That night I lost more then just my virginity. I lost myself.
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