This world we live in has been created by an inundation of media outlets and the problem is people take the opinions of these people and corporations as truths.
Since when is someone's opinion supposed to be my truth??
And since when has it been OK for people to be so self absorbed?? If I'm not mistaken, vanity is one of the seven deadly sins.
Just today I saw a post on Facebook, because everything on Facebook is true, that said "so done with being nice and not getting it on return."
Maybe we should just stop expecting it in return. Maybe if we didn't expect it returned and just did it for the simple sake of being nice we would all be a hell of a lot happier. Instead of what can you do for me, maybe we should all think how can I make today better? But we don't think like that. Being nice is frowned upon. Mean hearted self-absorption is rewarded. Just drive down the highway ad look at the billboards, turn on your TV and watch the commercials. You see lawyers EVERYWHERE. You slipped and fell, let's sue someone. You were in a car accident, let's sue someone. Your loved one dies, let's sue someone. It's a reward based society based on hurting those who hurt us.... or finding someone to blame. People are terrified of being blamed because of this. And thus comes an attitude of self absorbed herds.
I was in Subway yesterday. It was around noon so it was busy. There were 3 people behind the counter, one wearing "manager" on his badge.
As I stood in line patiently I noticed this soft spoken girl in front of me and as she quietly ordered her 6" meatball sub with American cheese I wished her some confidence to say her order loud enough for the clerk to here. I felt empathy for her... an emotion that doesn't exist now a days...and on the line moved.
I placed my order and waited... double chopped chicken salad please, heat the chicken! I moved up and tuned out my surroundings. I was lost in my own thoughts when I heard the clerk call out, "Six inch meatball! Meatball! Who had the meatball!"
The soft spoken girls order was up to be paid for but she wasn't approaching. As they called her order again I glanced up jarred out of my own thoughts and saw she was holding on to the soda machine and at first looked a little panicked. I thought she just didn't hear them or was too shy to approach and claim her order.
They called her order again and then all three clerks stopped what they were doing and exclaimed "what's wrong with her."
I, along with the entire restaurant looked up and saw something was definitely not right. She was clinging to the handle of the soda cooler with hide eyes. Her lips were trembling and she was twitching slightly.
There were three people between me and her. All backed away from her like she was going to explode. One father grabbed his two children and hugged them away from her. She looked totally freaked out. I recognized she was having a mild seizure. I told the clerk to put her order aside and I rushed over to her and touched her arm asked her if she was OK. She nodded yes. I asked if she was having a seizure. She nodded yes. she wasn't verbally responsive at first but was still standing and answering in head nods so I kept talking to her about my dog who has seizures and I went on about him in a calm smooth voice.
After a minute she said yes it was a seizure she sometimes gets from the lights and that she just wanted to get her sandwich and go home. Because I had stood between her and everyone else she was blocked from their stares and whispers and was able to regain her composure. I let her be and took my place in line. She quickly paid for her sub and rushed out embarrassed. I didn't do this for applause or appreciation. I did it because another human needed help and in a society where everyone is constantly ASKING for help, I gave it to someone who needed it, someone who would never have asked for help, because we all know no one else in that restaurant was going to.
When I took my place in line the woman behind me tried to talk to me about her, "what happened, oh my God that was scary!" I just smiled and thought, scary for who? Scary that you might have had to of been inconvenienced at Subway by a medical emergency that happens everywhere everyday. The woman kept talking though, finally I just said "She just needed a minute and didn't need everyone staring and pointing at her. It happens" And I paid for my salad and left.
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It has been 61 days since I last had a drink.
I started a new workout regiment. It seems like I'm always looking for something new! This one is a dance video called "Cize." And man, I cannot dance! It's hilarious. Yesterday while I Was dancing a new routine I was laughing at myself and my lack of coordination. But I was doing it! And I am not going to give up regardless of how awful I am!
I still get so restless. We had a pretty bad snow storm yesterday. I have been put on a new assignment for work hiring Temporary Replacement Workers aka Scabs. Basically I set at a conference center and wait for people to come in and apply to work in the case of a strike. No one is coming in. I have spent he last 2 weeks reading, walking circles, doing laps around the building, trying to converse with the other two ladies with me, trying to find new topics to talk about. Doing a whole lot of nothing, but hey I'm getting paid to do nothing so who am I to complain.
I'm the head of this project so I drove the 10 miles down the road in the middle of the snowstorm to open the hiring center. The roads were awful. The snow came down fast and wet. The streets were coated with a slushy mess. It took me a half hour to drive the ten minutes it normally takes me. White knuckled, slow, and steady. I am not rushing to get in to this place, and who in their right mind would come out in this weather to apply for a position that they will most likely never end up working anyways!
When I got in I set up my laptop and turned to channel 12 news. I let that stream in the background as I cranked up the heat, pulled my boots off, and curled up in one of the big cozy office chairs with my book. I was facing the window so had a perfect view of the piling snow and my car slowly disappearing under the white blanket.
About a half hour later Seth texted me that our house had lost power, he was heading out to work early. Well, good thing I'm here safe and sound with power. I got lost in my book. I went for a walk a couple of times just to get some steps in. Up and down the stairs, up and down and up and down. After about two more hours I settled in again. It was getting pretty bad outside.
My cell phone started buzzing and I saw it was my HR command center. They said the roads were getting terrible and they wanted everyone to pack up and head home. So much for safe, warm, and cozy.
I put my boots back on, bundled up and hurried out to start the task of clearing off my car. I had been plowed in... great. Luckily I had parked with this in mind. I got in my car and rolled forwards and backwards a few times and my car shot out, fishtailed slightly, and off I went.
The roads had gotten even worse. And now my gloves were soaked, my hat was soaked, I was cold. I was wet. My heat was cranked up but my body heat, the car heat, and the moisture coming off of me was fogging up the windows. All I could think was, this is going to take a while.
The sight was unbelievable. It was like a winter wonderland. Everything was white. The sky, the trees, the ground. The trees were all bent with the heavy snow and the world seemed to have turned black and white. I nearly pulled over to take a picture but then my car slipped and skidded and I thought better of that. I kept going trying to focus on my driving rather than the beauty I was surrounded by. It was so still. So peaceful. It was perfect.
I would have missed this if not for that downed wire.... I thought, everything really does happen for a reason.
I got home safe, the power was on, the dogs were happy to have my company and I still had my DVR full and half a book to finish.
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