We made our way in and I went and posted up in the living room. I had asked Seth to stop at Dunkin' Donuts so I could get a coffee. I've realized if you have a drink of any sort in your hand people don't try to push you to have a drink.
Seth had just stopped at the liquor store and picked up a bottle of Kilbeggins Whiskey. We had toured the Kilbeggins distillery when we were in Ireland on our honeymoon. It's one of the best whiskeys we've ever had. Very smooth, not too smokey, very strong... all in all delicious.
Seth made himself a drink and we started to relax.
A couple hours later I had finished my coffee.
It was almost like his sister was waiting for me to finish. After I took my last sip she immediately asked "Do you want a glass of wine!?"
It almost seemed like she was begging me to have a drink with her. I declined. She asked a couple more times through out the night. I finally asked her if I could just have a coke zero.
It's funny how people act once you decide to stop drinking.
If I had never been a drinker it wouldn't be a problem but now that I have CHOSEN to stop drinking, it seems as though people feel guilty... I don't know if guilty is the word... it almost seems like they feel ashamed... yes, ashamed that they are drinking.
Especially after I say it's been over two months since I've had a drink. Almost always the reaction is "Wow, I couldn't do that... why??" And then I have to explain why I don't want to drink...I don't want to say I can't have a drink because one drink always turns into one too many. I don't want to say I have a problem, I don't know if I have a problem. I just don't want to feel like shit. Drinking has never done a single good thing for me.
I've just been telling people I'm trying to get in to shape.
I'm trying to be healthy. That seems to placate them, but I still get the sideways glances like there's some big secret I'm hiding.
It's no secret it's just I don't want to poison myself and I don't want to make you feel guilty or ashamed for wanting to drink.
So after several hours I decided it was time to go. Seth had started speaking in slurs and mumbles. His sister and her husband started getting droopy eyes and bickering back and forth.
It's always awkward to see couples bickering and I was glad it wasn't Seth and I this time... another good think about not drinking.
I drove home and Seth stumbled inside. He's an amusing drunk, he gets very lovey dovey. So he proclaimed his love for me for about an hour and we went to bed.
The next day was Super Bowl Sunday. We had plans to go to our friends house, Keith and Maddy.
We headed over there around 5:30pm. Tonight Seth was not drinking, he was still recovering from the night before.
The second we walked in Keith and Maddy asked us what we wanted to drink. Again, I had to explain why I was't drinking. Seth used the excuse that he had to work in the morning and had had too much to drink last night.
Keith and Maddy felt very awkward. Maddy stated several times that she couldn't believe neither of us were drinking.
It's not like conversation was awkward, we were having a good time... After the third time I was a little annoyed by it and then I realized I had been in their shoes on more than one occasion.
I hated when I was drinking and other people weren't. Nobody wants to be the only drunk person. And nobody wants to be the drunkest person. If we were drinking it would be less obvious to tell who was drunk. No one would have to feel guilty or ashamed for numbing themselves. Misery loves company as much as a drunk loves another drunk.
We decided to leave at half time, not because of the pressure to drink just because we had planned on leaving at half time. As we were getting ready to leave Maddy and I were talking about planning a vacation together this spring. She told us they had one condition, Seth and I had to drink with them... I just smiled and said yea sure.
And that is why I will always have a bottle of cranberry juice handy... they can think I'm drinking and no one has to feel bad.
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