Today I erased my old self.
Literally.
I took everything that had my old identity and ran it through a shredder. This is quite an odd moment. All it takes is a couple hours and a piece of paper and poof, I have a new name. A new me. When you type my name into my works database, I no longer exist.
In a way, over the last decade I have become a completely different person so it kind of suits me. People that knew me 10 years ago are stunned when they meet me today.
How could I be so grown up? How could I be so... good at nearly everything? I have heard on more than one occasion, you are not the same person I met 10 years ago. Not even a trace of her. Which is a good thing but at the same time, I fought to become the woman I am now. And I just erased her.
I became Eliza Cole and erased all that was Eliza Beaumont. I am now a wife and a memory.
Tonight is my management work Christmas party. A couple people from my ask me why I look so festive, I had done my nails in an ugly sweater Jamberry and wore a nice red turtle neck. When I tell them I have a Christmas party they as if I'm going to get lit. Now, this is just conversation to them. They don't know my relationship with alcohol. So I don't get offended, I simply say no I don't drink.
INSTANTLY they glance towards my belly and I get "So....why don't you drink? Any particular reason??"
To which I smile and say, "Purely for my health, I suggest you try drinking water occasionally as well."
They think this is hilarious. Why would anyone in their right mind NOT drink? Sometimes people are so clueless. I can't even hold it against them. Ignorance is truly bliss.
I headed over to the party and said my hellos. I then headed to everyone huddled around the bar. They were all furiously ordering their drinks. The bartender looked at me and asked what I wanted. I said I'll have a diet coke please.
I got a couple sideways glances and some whispers were said behind my back.
A friend of mine I've known for about 10 years showed up a little later and joined the group I was with.
"Where's your beer do you need one?" He asks.
"No thanks I'm not drinking."
"Eliza Beaumont at a social gathering without a beer.... What is this world coming to??"
I laugh "ha ha very funny."
"No but seriously, something you need to tell me? You expecting???"
"No Martin, I am simply being healthy."
"Its OK, you can tell me I won't say anything... You know you can't lie to me."
"Great here come the rumors! I swear Martin if I go to work tomorrow and hear through the grapevine again that I'm pregnant I'm coming after you! Maybe this time the rumors will die out before I become 15 months pregnant."
"Hahahaha oh yes I forgot about that rumor!" (A couple years back a rumor had been spread that I had an affair and was knocked up. A year and a half later people were still saying I was pregnant. Then came the cruel whispers about what happened to the imaginary baby...)
Shortly after this there was a raffle. I never entered my name but I guess just being there had gotten me an entry.
I won the grand prize a bottle of Grey goose vodka. I tried to give it away but had to leave with it.
Thank God one lesson alcohol actually taught me is that vodka and I do not get along. This will make a great Christmas gift for someone...
I made sure to say hello to everyone. I always do. I also made sure I was the first one to arrive and the first one to leave. Drinking and work never mix and I don't particularly care to see my co-workers make fools of themselves.
The thing is, people are always going to talk about you. People who are so bored with their own lives, they have nothing better to do than talk about the drama of other peoples lives.
I just let them think what they want no. I just don't care.
Literally.
I took everything that had my old identity and ran it through a shredder. This is quite an odd moment. All it takes is a couple hours and a piece of paper and poof, I have a new name. A new me. When you type my name into my works database, I no longer exist.
In a way, over the last decade I have become a completely different person so it kind of suits me. People that knew me 10 years ago are stunned when they meet me today.
How could I be so grown up? How could I be so... good at nearly everything? I have heard on more than one occasion, you are not the same person I met 10 years ago. Not even a trace of her. Which is a good thing but at the same time, I fought to become the woman I am now. And I just erased her.
I became Eliza Cole and erased all that was Eliza Beaumont. I am now a wife and a memory.
Tonight is my management work Christmas party. A couple people from my ask me why I look so festive, I had done my nails in an ugly sweater Jamberry and wore a nice red turtle neck. When I tell them I have a Christmas party they as if I'm going to get lit. Now, this is just conversation to them. They don't know my relationship with alcohol. So I don't get offended, I simply say no I don't drink.
INSTANTLY they glance towards my belly and I get "So....why don't you drink? Any particular reason??"
To which I smile and say, "Purely for my health, I suggest you try drinking water occasionally as well."
They think this is hilarious. Why would anyone in their right mind NOT drink? Sometimes people are so clueless. I can't even hold it against them. Ignorance is truly bliss.
I headed over to the party and said my hellos. I then headed to everyone huddled around the bar. They were all furiously ordering their drinks. The bartender looked at me and asked what I wanted. I said I'll have a diet coke please.
I got a couple sideways glances and some whispers were said behind my back.
A friend of mine I've known for about 10 years showed up a little later and joined the group I was with.
"Where's your beer do you need one?" He asks.
"No thanks I'm not drinking."
"Eliza Beaumont at a social gathering without a beer.... What is this world coming to??"
I laugh "ha ha very funny."
"No but seriously, something you need to tell me? You expecting???"
"No Martin, I am simply being healthy."
"Its OK, you can tell me I won't say anything... You know you can't lie to me."
"Great here come the rumors! I swear Martin if I go to work tomorrow and hear through the grapevine again that I'm pregnant I'm coming after you! Maybe this time the rumors will die out before I become 15 months pregnant."
"Hahahaha oh yes I forgot about that rumor!" (A couple years back a rumor had been spread that I had an affair and was knocked up. A year and a half later people were still saying I was pregnant. Then came the cruel whispers about what happened to the imaginary baby...)
Shortly after this there was a raffle. I never entered my name but I guess just being there had gotten me an entry.
I won the grand prize a bottle of Grey goose vodka. I tried to give it away but had to leave with it.
Thank God one lesson alcohol actually taught me is that vodka and I do not get along. This will make a great Christmas gift for someone...
I made sure to say hello to everyone. I always do. I also made sure I was the first one to arrive and the first one to leave. Drinking and work never mix and I don't particularly care to see my co-workers make fools of themselves.
The thing is, people are always going to talk about you. People who are so bored with their own lives, they have nothing better to do than talk about the drama of other peoples lives.
I just let them think what they want no. I just don't care.
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